Dah beberapa kali nak tulis pasal ni. Tulis..
Jive ke tidak gambar ni dengan tajuk I? ish lantak kan lah. I memang dah tentu boleh relate. Tapi kalau korang tak baper nak faham.. sorry lah yek.
Ini semua ada kena mengena dengan cerita nak sambung PhD. Sebelum nak sambung tu, memang lah macam-macam dalam fikiran. Allah saja yang tahu. I love working. I love my job (maybe not the company but the job itself). But now, leaving all that to this.... biar betul?
Istikharah lah.
Dah. Dah buat pun. Hati masih rasa was-was. Rasa macam belum diberi petunjuk. Oh Allah, please forgive me! Jangan tak tahu, tak semestinya Allah bagi kita 'petunjuk' seketul dalam mimpi. Atau seketul jatuh dari langit ke hapaaaaa... Rupanya, satu cara petunjuk tu...urusan kita dipermudahkan. How fool for me not to know that. Semoga Allah ampunkan prasangka sebelum ni.
Ianya dipermudahkan.
I didn't have to apply (literally). Sebab memang dah shortlisted. Tak payah buat online application, tak payah bayar RM50 ke RM100 beli PIN dekat BSN tu. Dah cut short some processes. I was a bit slow in progress nak buat proposal. Tapi somehow bila siap, immediately potential supervisor accepted it! In fact, the potential supervisor yang so called volunteer to take me up! What more else I could wish for kan??? She actually plan to give me some allowance from her grant. At least I'm financed before dapat MyBrain. Hah, tak ok ke macam tu?
OK dah siap-siap nak gi register. The night before, I baru tau I misplaced the original cert and transcript. Memang rasa bad feelings that I wouldn't be able to complete the registration. So true enough. Tak dapat complete the registration. Either dapatkan balik the documents or have to go through the process to request for reissue from registrar. Great!
That point of time, I thought that was the big indication that I shouldn't continue. I said to myself, like a Du'a. Kalau tak jumpa cert ni, this is it. I will call for a stop. Cari kerja lah..or do something else.
Monday hari tu, I went and traced back the places I singgah masa hari kejadian. En. Azhar memang dah cakap not in his room. He actually went to his office on Saturday morning itself to check for me. So kind of him. OK, so pergi ke Akademik ofis. Ringan mulut pulak hari tu nak bercerita sedih to some kind hearted Puan who helped to call Pentadbiran (tempat kedua selepas Akademik ofis I singgah).... ANDDDDDD......
JUMPA documents tu semua! Elok je ada dekat kaunter where I left it. Allahuakbar. And after that, registration completed that day itself.
p/s: kadang2 because our feelings overpower what Allah wants to show us, kita jadi buta! or in denial to accept the petunjuk. :-(
Istisyarah tak?
Baru tau kalau kita in doubt, seek Allah's help through istikharah pastu kena istisyarah. I guess it's just the term yang baru tau. I've been doing this. Tanya orang pendapat. Read about it. Atau apa-apa perbuatan yang boleh memberi penerangan kepada kita sebelum kita membuat keputusan. I reckoned, pendapat love ones and those yang rapat memang la sangat dihargai. :-)
MrBawsMan, he's really superb! Melayan je bila I meroyan..ups and downs... He will support me, do or not do. Financially pun dia kena tanggunglah. Part tu ada rasa bit tak best. Sebab used to help each other mencari rezeki for the family. May Allah enable the smooth flow of our sustenance and grant us barakah. Amin!
Mak, she's too okay whatever it is my decision. But I can sense she's a bit worried cukup ke nanti makan pakai if one person only bekerja. Again, May Allah enable the smooth flow of our sustenance and grant us barakah. Amin!
My boys! Adam and Idrees who equally excited knowing their mom "sikit lagi nak jadi doktor!".
Told Kak Ina about my feelings. Was Was as she put it. Kak Ina kata, mungkin 'syaiton' yang bikin rasa macam tu because I intended to do something good. Hmmm, boleh pakai jugak kata Kak Ina ni.
En. Azhar, really wanted me to be part of the research team. He's so impressed with my writing skills. He asked if I was a writer who already authored a story book. What a waste not to continue.
Hanis, jangan susah peningkan kepala. If you think you don't want to do it. Tak payah buat. Senang. Well, she's easy minded lil sil. I like her for that!
Awin, she and her favorite chant. Keep going! Slowly becoming my chant too.
Zura? She's probably be my mate for this PhD journey. I didn't really asked her opinion per se. Tapi, I like her attitude for knowing exactly what she wanted to do in life at a young age.
Dr OT? Just who is this guy. Heaven sent! I have added his blog into my reading list. I have to admit, because of his book "Tulis Tesis Cepat", I got inspired. I think I can write thesis too. Cerita pasal dapat beli buku dia tu pun macam ajaib (let me keep that for myself).
Who else not being mentioned here personally...sorry lah kalau terlupa.
There goes my cerita. Till then!
